Part 9 Caregiver Series
How We Got Here
Once we started making changes to our daily lives things became a lot less stressful. I wasn’t watching her every little move ready to correct her at every turn or reminding her of everything that she had forgotten. Instead of moaning and groaning about all the things she could no longer do. I began clapping and cheering at all the things that she could STILL do.
Mom didn’t change, that would be impossible. She has Alzheimer’s Disease. I changed and that made everything else possible. I wrote a story about my mother that Mr. DeMarco of The Alzheimer’s Reading Room published on his website. MEMORIES-HER MOTHER REMEMBERED 1957, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW.
I remember getting the email on a Saturday afternoon in the middle of Lowe’s Hardware store. I started crying! You would have thought it was the Washington Post, but to me it was. I showed my husband and texted my Sister-in-law, my Best Friend, my daughter…hell maybe even my plumber!
I have always loved to write, it is something I have done all of my life. It’s always been something deeply personal and private. Besides, I’m a writing slob! I have always kept journals everywhere, just not organized dated ones. I would write on one page one day and sometimes entirely different books another.
I am organized in my mind. Oh, who am I trying to kid, it’s a mess in there too? I am constantly losing things, much to the frustration of my OCD husband. I would be a mess without his constant need for near perfection. We balance each other out I think. We make each other crazy and we love it…sorry, but that’s a whole other post!
Things were starting to go so much better although, I still wasn’t able to talk. When I think about it that is how this whole thing got started. When I couldn’t talk I had to write and write and write. I started writing about mom and how things were progressing. I wanted to keep an accountability of the changes we were making and the mark the changes that Alzheimer’s was making in our daily lives.
People wanted to read what I wrote. Me!? I couldn’t believe it! I had somehow found my way to Blogger and started writing there, only because I don’t have a program on my computer for writing. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, you can tell if you read these comments on his site. I had no clue what a URL was! I looked and felt like such an idiot. I also changed one word in my closing statement. I decided to go with “rest” instead of “ugly”, we’ve come a long way from then to now.
This is off topic, but while going back over those comments other than Mr. DeMarco the first comment I ever had about my writing was from my now friend, Carol Noren Johnson. I knew we met through Mr. DeMarco’s site, but I never realized she was my first comment EVER. She is a fellow blogger at PLANT CITY LADY & FRIENDS and Alzheimer’s Caregiver to her husband.
He passed away on June 23, 2014. We still check on each other, back and forth usually by email. I want to say thank you, Carol! You have always been one of my biggest cheerleaders, I just didn’t realize you were also the first! I’ll never forget that and you are still in my prayers!
I didn’t need that therapist after all (some may find this debatable) because I found what I really needed… MY VOICE! Maybe not the real one, but the one I needed at the time.